So you’ve been wrong all your life: it’s the shape-shifting reptilian aliens who really control Earth by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate human societies. David Icke came to me in a dream and told me.

And Part 1 of our little theory – sorry, fact – claimed that I’d found out how they were controlling us: they were making all the smart people really busy.


You thought it was your boss, or the pressures of the competition, or our hyper-connected, always-on societies. Or you thought it was because you’d put in place a plan to accumulate enough money to one day not to have to be busy ever again, so you made a deal. A bargain with yourself. You’d be prepared to sacrifice the best days of your life to a deferred future.


No, none of those things are the real reason you are so busy. These are stories implanted in our brain (just below the hairline, lower left quadrant of your skull). It’s the Green Lizard shape-shifters who are making you busy. And why?


So that you have no time to think. I mean, just enough thinking to solve the next problem on your To Do list, but no more than that.


No time to pause.


No time to reflect. No time to question why, or why not?


No time to say ‘No more.’


The lizards like that.


They also like the fact that, for many of us, our lives are feeling more than a little out of whack. Things not going as we’d intended. Life more of a struggle. Our dreams evaporating.


They like how tired we seem to be; they like how addicted we are to our machines and our ‘social media’


(they coined that phrase first, though in their lizard language it is a verb ‘avvvvr-kathal-zeem-lamanamanan’, originally meaning “to desperately post happy shots of your kids/car/cats because your real life feels like it’s falling apart”).


The lizards like how our public discourse is so shallow and inelegant.


How ‘micro-aggression’ has become a thing.


They like that most people on the planet spend most of their lives at work and most of their work lives hating it.


They like how nothing in our society is deemed useful any more unless it is easy and short and fast (the lizards hate this essay).


They like how we are inventing cool new phrases for pretending that our rudeness and arrogance is now acceptable because – oh, that’s right, because we are so busy. Ghosting, any one?


They like how we’ve lost DEPTH – or even any pretense that should matter any more.


They LOVE how we aren’t any more being the best version of ourselves.


Being busy, they know, is the secret code word for ‘Please excuse me for letting my integrity slip.’


It’s a shame.


No, it’s a disgrace.


It’s time to rise up against the Green Lizards. We are better than this.


Who’s in for the uprising?